You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Panties = found
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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