I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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