A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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