I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
