All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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