i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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