But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
