the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
