He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I have tasted many bathrooms
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
