What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
