So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize