i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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