I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
