we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
