Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
