Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
