I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
