sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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