At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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