i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
