if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize