Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
