pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
