She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
