But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
