True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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