Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
