Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize