So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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