You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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