2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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