Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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