I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
