Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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