he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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