you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize