just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
