OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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