mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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