I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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