I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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