i jhust puked up my retainher.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
