Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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