You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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