he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
