In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
