If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
