the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize