I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
