So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
