Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
