Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
