Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
