i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
