He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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