Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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