The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
