I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
