Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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