yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
