i just made my gag reflex go away.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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